THE GIFT OF THANKSGIVING

30 Rules for Thanksgiving Touch Football from Jason Gay in the WSJ.
 

1. It’s touch if you have a healthy, speaking relationship with your family. Its tackle (without Skwoosh gel pads) if you see each other once a year.
2. Keep the field size small, less than 100 yards long. If half the people in your family ran 100 yards they’d end up in the hospital.
3. Play before dinner. There will be no players available after dinner. Nobody can run in unbuttoned pants.
4. Everyone plays, parents, grandparents, uncles, cousins even Spot, the one eyed terrier. Spot’s the best wide receiver on the field (when he’s not cuddled up and napping on a gel office cushion).
5. The following are prohibited: spikes, sticky gloves, Smith jerseys, lit cigars and running with a martini. No Therapy gel cushions for protection allowed.
6. A Nerf ball is okay but a real leather football is classic. We’re waiting for a leather covered gel motorcycle seat.
7. No Frisbees, winged footballs or soft, lightweight gel travel cushions allowed.
8. Two hand touch is required.  One hand touch is for lazy folks who celebrate Thanksgiving at KFC.
9. Gay says two completions is a first down. He knows.
10. Save the taunting, cursing and back-handed compliments for the dinner table.
11. Playing in most of the country comes with “skwooshy” cold mud  inviting a family member to fall and ruin his or her Thanksgiving outfit. No penalty just one of the highlights of the game (Skwoosh washes easily).
12. Don’t baby the kids even your 7-year-old niece. It’s OK to intercept her pass and run it back for a touchdown. She has to learn when not to throw into triple coverage.
13. The count is five “Mississippi” a FULL four syllables not a quick “MISS-IPPY” and knocking gramps to the ground.
14. If you’re old enough to have grandchildren and you sack the quarter back and you do a sack dance you will be worshipped forever.
15. No, you don’t get to be “permanent QB” if you want anyone to like you.
16. No show-off football lingo like “trips left” or “zone blitz”. Uncle Earl wants to get the game over with, have a vodka and watch the game on TV sitting on his All Purpose Gel cushion from Skwoosh.
17. With the control freak uncle just listen to the elaborate plays and forget them ASAP.
18. There are only two plays in the game, “Everybody Go Out” and Everybody Go Deep”.
19. No, that running play never works. Ever.
20. QB’s be sure not to throw the ball too hard when you think you see an opening. Guaranteed you’ll peg Aunt Francis in the neck.
21.  Don’t be a wimp. A little pass interference never hurt anyone.
22. After you throw six interceptions let someone else play QB or sign with the Redskins.
23. Three-minute half time. Remember: if Daddy sits, Daddy is done.
24. If playing on the street, don’t dent the powder blue Cadillac. It belongs to Uncle Guido’s new wife and he’ll find you.
25. If you’re a Thanksgiving guest it’s your job to be good at touch football. Lie and say you played a little at OSU.
26. Punts are the hippopotamuses of touch football. Botched punts break more windows and dent more cars than any other play in the game.
27. If it snows while sitting in the bleacher seats the game’s a classic.
28. Be careful. You don’t want any injuries that can’t be treated with a bag of frozen peas and a SKWOOSH Gel Acupressure Pad.
29. If your team wins and stands undefeated please let LSU know that you’re available to play in the BCS championship.
30. In the end there is really only one rule for Thanksgiving touch football. Take your shoes off before you go in the house or Mom is going to kill you.

A Gift for Fishermen

Fishing from a kayak and enjoying the comfort and convenience of a Skwoosh gel kayak fishing seat isn’t anything like the adventures depicted on the TV show “Deadliest Catch”.  But it does validate ones deep interest in fishing, fishing safety and the place in man’s existence for both commercial and sport fishing.

Kayak fishing is a sport while commercial fishing, especially crabbing, is at the top of the US list of deadliest jobs, with a fatality rate 33 times above the average for US workers.  Contributing to these grim statistics was the old regulation which forced fishermen to race the clock to catch enough to pay expenses and make a profit before they had to stop once the entire fleet's limit was reached.  In the effort to control overfishing, an arbitrary fleet limit was set for each catch.  When the limit was reached all fishermen working that catch had to stop or face heavy fines.  This caused the great fishing race, often with disregard to safety by the contestants.  Thankfully today fishing is done under the catch shares system which divides up how many fish the fleet can catch among individual fishermen and not collectively.  The catch shares system is safer for the fishermen because it allows them to fish comfortably at their own pace during longer seasons. 

Next time you are lounging in your kayak fishing gel seat, or enjoying your own catch or purchase from your local seafood store, give a little thought to the tough men who work their heavy equipment in 20 foot seas in icy conditions.  So this holiday season give a gift of comfort and performance – give Skwoosh - the perfect gift for all sport fishermen.

TO CLIMB A TREE OR NOT TO CLIMB A TREE

In a recent article in The Wall Street Journal, William L. Hamilton talks about the latest fad in outdoor activity, tree climbing. According to Mr Hamilton "recreational tree climbing" is now "technical tree climbing" or climbing with ropes just like professional arborists do. What you did as a kid or "free climbing" is not encouraged as a sport. You've got to be kidding.

Can you imagine living in New York City, throwing a good rope, several carabiners, a saddle harness, a helmet, goggles and your trusty throw weight into a Macy's Big Brown Bag shopping bag, riding down the elevator in your building and heading straight for the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx to climb a tree?

Classic Paddling Cushion

I prefer a strenuous workout out on the water in a kayak, canoe, sculler rowing or just some lazy fishing from my boat. I don't know about you but I'm a comfort hound when it comes to my recreation. I like to load my kayak on top of my car, drive a short way to a river, a lake or the ocean and put her in.
For paddling comfort I always have a Classic PADDLING GEL kayak cushion by SKWOOSH in my boat.

Pro Angler Kayak Gel Seat

When I decide to fish from my kayak I make sure that my SKWOOSH Tournament or Pro Angler kayak gel fishing seat is set up. Skwoosh lets me fish in comfort all day long.

Master Row Pad with AGP

When I'm in the mood for a vigorous workout I get into my one man scull, drop in my SKWOOSH Master gel row pad and get a 30 minute comfortable work out.


Suffice it to say I can pass up the 120 year old red oak for a comfortable paddle in my kayak with a SKWOOSH Gel Cushion any day.

The Field of Goals

The Field of Goals

Would anyone have predicted that number 1 LSU would play No 2 Alabama in the battle of the field goals? Whether you were sitting in the stadium in Tuscaloosa AL enjoying the comfort of your SKWOOSH bleacher gel seat or watching the game at your computer sitting comfortably on your SKWOOSH AirFlo Gel Office cushion you have to admit this game was a real stunner. After an unbelievable defensive struggle the game to get a step closer to the BCS title owes its outcome to Drew Alleman’s 25 yard field goal in overtime. This game will be remembered not because of Cade Foster’s 52 yard missed field goal (he missed three others) but it will go down in history as a 9 to 6 LSU win over the Crimson Tide where neither team ever reached the end zone.

I’ll bet a pair of SKWOOSH Bleacher Buddy gel seats or a comfortable kayak gel Paddling cushion that few out there can name another college football team that won a big game 9 to 6 while never getting the pigskin into the end zone.

Stay calm, relax, get in some kayak fishing and stay comfortable but always watch the NCAA game of the week sitting on your Gel Stadium seat. You might get to see a 30 to 27 game where no one scores a touchdown.